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Friday, March 5, 2010



The World of Wifecraft

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 05:30 PM PST

Is your husband playing too much World of Warcraft and neglecting your relationship? Well, then try World of Wifecraft, the radical new therapy that's sweeping the nation!

Top 10 Stoned Birthday Dog Photoshops

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 05:20 PM PST

It's the Internet, where literally anyone can become famous. Case in point: Stoned Birthday Dog, a curly-haired canine with a look in his eye like he has been partaking in some green stuff behind his master's back.

11 More U.S. Airports Get Body Scanners

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 05:10 PM PST

Despite concerns of privacy and their effectiveness, 11 more airports are to get 150 full-body imaging machines beginning Monday at Boston's Logan International Airport, and one at the O'Hare International Airport in Chicago. In all, 30 U.S. airports will employ the scanning devices...

Obama Touts Green Jobs as Key to Recovery

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 05:00 PM PST

U.S. President Barack Obama pushed his clean-energy agenda Friday, stressing in Arlington, Va., the prospect of green jobs fueling an economic recovery.

25 Amazing and Fresh jQuery Plugins

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:50 PM PST

Keeping up with the new jQuery plugin releases and developments sometimes feels like a full-time job! Every other day something new and better crops up that catches the eye and you think yourself "Wow, that looks good, I could use that!".

Nurse Tries to Earn Extra Money as Inept Hooker

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:50 PM PST

Melinda "Mindy" Brennan is a nurse with four children living in the fancy burb of Chappaqua, New York. Friends say she had financial problems -- over what we're not sure. So she decided to moonlight in the world's oldest profession...but let's just say Brennan never completed the hooker apprenticeship training program.

66 Great Movie Taglines From the Past 30 Years

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:40 PM PST

In celebration of Sunday's Academy Awards, we've combed through the last 30 years of movie marketing and selected our 66 favorite film taglines from that period. The cut-off of 1980 means we've left out what many consider the greatest movie tagline ever—"In space, no one can hear you scream," Alien, 1979—but there's plenty here to chew on.

Microsoft Says Good Riddance to IE6.

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:40 PM PST

It appears that Microsoft is as happy as anyone to see the death of IE6.

Howard Stern Gives Phoenix Band $5000 to Sing to a Penis

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:30 PM PST

Stern attached a microphone to the penis of one of his standard associates, Sal, and called the whole thing "Cockaoke." I'm happy to say our boys handled the penis like pros.

Police Academy is being revamped!

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:20 PM PST

The 1980's franchise cult hit Police Academy is being revamped!!

A Pop Equation (PIC)

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:20 PM PST

Tik-Tok, Tik Tok...your fifteen minutes are up.

Move Over Oscar, The Toxie Awards Are Here

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:20 PM PST

A coalition of environmental and advocacy groups staged a red carpet event this week to spotlight a slew of what they call "bad actors" -- pervasive toxic chemicals that consistently behave poorly. BPA, lead and mercury were among the

'Sexting': the new infidelity?

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:00 PM PST

Where once the symbols of infidelity were lipstick on the collar and dubious hotel bills, today the principal indication is a series of sex texts....

Mortal Kombat Rocks!

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 04:00 PM PST

In the words of Archer, this is so ninja!

1,200 Protest Against Budget Cuts at Schwarzenegger's Office

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:50 PM PST

Labeled the "Strike and Day of Action in Defense of Public Education," the protests led by students at UC San Diego, SDSU, City College and others expressed anger against the state government and the millions of dollars cut to the education system in the past months.

The Gorilla On Mars Isn't The Weirdest Thing We've Spotted..

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:50 PM PST

All hail King Kong of Mars! Eagle-eyed experts spotted this gorilla in one of the pictures sent back by the Spirit Rover. Of course, NASA's trying to cover it up. But it's not the weirdest Martian we've found so far.

20 Sweet and Sugary Cereals (up to 44% Sugar!)

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:40 PM PST

Which cereals have the most sugar per serving? Here's the top 20. Can you pass the milk?

Accuser: Big Ben Roethlisberger Assaulted Me in a Bathroom

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:40 PM PST

The woman accusing Ben Roethlisberger of sexual assault told police the whole thing went down inside the women's restroom of a Georgia nightclub early this morning.

Activision-Blizzard has Plans for Multiple Diablo Sequels

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:20 PM PST

It's been close to a decade since the release of the last Diablo title, and Diablo III lies somewhere along the corner, with hopeful fans looking at a 2011 release at the earliest. With Activision at the helm, it comes as no surprise that the company may opt to milk the franchise for all its worth, with Diablo III & subsequent expansions.

A 40,000 Year Old, Perfectly Preserved Baby Woolly Mammoth

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:10 PM PST


Live Conan O'Brien Show Confirmed, Coco Nation Rejoices

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:10 PM PST

It's true! Conan O'Brien has cleared his busy schedule of Twitter brain trusts and dolphin meet and greets to perform a live show in April, fulfilling Megan Mullally's prophecy that Coco will "have the last laugh".

The Chatroulette Scavenger Hunt

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:10 PM PST

Our task was a simple one – jump on the bandwagon that every other website is on by writing an article about the internet phenomenon/degradation of humanity that is Chatroulette.com. Only we decided to try to make it slightly original. How? By going on a scavenger hunt...

Michael Finley to Sign with Boston Celtics

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:10 PM PST

News is breaking that Michael Finley has agreed to a deal with the Boston Celtics for the rest of the season after being bought out by the San Antonio Spurs.

It's Okay now to be gay on Xbox LIVE

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 03:00 PM PST

Microsoft just lifted their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule on Gamertag names on Xbox Live today.

Chuck E. Cheese bans gangsta things from its Harlem location

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:50 PM PST

Establishments think that putting up a sign is a way of deterring certain undesirable elements of society from coming in, as if a sign has the power of making people reconsider their way of life. The latest attempt comes from a Chuck E. Cheese in Harlem which is banning everything from glass cutters to...towels.

No Thanks, I've Reached My Bank-Robbing Limit Today, Ma'am

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:50 PM PST

A man whom the FBI are calling the "Frugal Felon" robbed a bank inside a Houston grocery store yesterday, but oddly stopped while he was ahead. When the teller placed cash on top of the robbery note and reached into the drawer for additional cash, the "Frugal Felon" told her, "No, that's enough."

Is chasing cybercrooks worth it?

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:40 PM PST

Why it's not worth our time to go after these internet criminals.

Raw Video: Inside the Cruise Ship as Waves Crash

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:30 PM PST

An Italian passenger of the Louis Majesty, Ervino Curtis shot the wave hitting and breaking the glass of portholes, killing two people and wounding many others.

Road Salt Contaminating Drinking Water and Killing Fish

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:30 PM PST

A University of Minnesota study recently studied 39 lakes and three major rivers, and found that 70% of the road salt ended up in the watershed. Effects of salt include decreases in biodiversity, reduction in fish numbers and types, and higher mortality rates among organisms that rely on marine life for food.

Colbert Pimps Out Sean Hannity (Video)

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:30 PM PST

Personally, I'm just really glad to see a whore on Hannity's show again. I miss Alan Colmes.

House Recommends Calling 1915 Armenian Killings Genocide

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:20 PM PST

The House Foreign Affairs Committee narrowly passed a measure Thursday recommending that the United States recognize the 1915 killings of ethnic Armenians in Ottoman Turkey as genocide.

Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2010

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 02:20 PM PST


The Jalopnik-Powered Forza Motorsport 3 March Car Pack

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:50 PM PST

An exclusive first look at the ten cars from the March Forza Motorsport 3 DLC -- the first of two Jalopnik-branded downloadable content packs.


Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:40 PM PST

The future is a scary and stupid place.

W/i a Year 90% of Microsoft Employees Working Cloud Projects

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:30 PM PST

As of today, Microsoft has around 75% of its employees are working on cloud-related projects. "A year from now that will be 90 percent," says CEO Steve Ballmer. According to its Wiki page Microsoft currently has 93,000 employees... yikes.

Password Protection (pic)

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:20 PM PST


6 Historic Acts of Revenge That Put 'Kill Bill' to Shame

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:10 PM PST

If you think epic vengeance is restricted to cheesy movies then you have a lot of history to learn.

10 Fictional Companies That Would Be Awesome to Work For

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 01:00 PM PST

Jobs. We all have 'em. Most of us hate 'em. Why can't all jobs be like those on television or in the movies?

It's time to repeal 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 12:50 PM PST

The issue is high on the agenda for American Veterans for Equal Rights, a group of gay veterans. The more conservative estimates of the cost of discharging and replacing gay and lesbian service members since 1994 is $400 million.

Exclusive pictures of Microsoft Courier!

Posted: 05 Mar 2010 12:40 PM PST

We're told Courier will function as a "digital journal," and it's designed to be seriously portable: it's under an inch thick, weighs a little over a pound, and isn't much bigger than a 5x7 photo when closed.

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